the PHP Jerk


Because all of you suck at writing code, I created my own standards.


My Twitter account has been locked and suspended for over a month now. While I may have been annoying to the Learning Laravel guy, I never violated the Twitter TOS, so I'm not sure what the deal is. There was nothing abusive about my Learning Laravel stuff, unless you consider all journalists as abusive. And I never made threats.

I've made an appeal (a few times) and still nothing. Here's what they sent:
        Your account has been suspended because it appears you may be managing a number of Twitter accounts. Creating serial or bulk accounts with overlapping uses is a violation of the Twitter Rules (; as a result, all of the accounts will remain suspended until we receive more information.

Please reply to this email with the following information:

a) a list of the accounts that you have created, and;

b) your planned use for the accounts
I do have a personal account, but it's totally separate and in no way overlaps with me being a PHP Jerk. My planned use: to be a PHP jerk, and sometimes funny (to myself).

Warning! Non of this really matters and I'm just really bored. (update: it actually kind of matters now)


So they "decided to hide the announcement" because they "don't want to start any war or create any Laravel drama". These fuckin' guys. If you really think your arguments are legit, why remove them? If you truly ARE trying your "best to contribute to the Laravel community" then fucking prove it! Because from my standpoint, it looks like you want the Laravel community to contribute to your bank account.

You come off as a marketing hack trying to capitalize on an emerging web technology. If that's not the case, SHOW US WHY! Straight up copy-and-pasting people's shit is pretty damning evidence, so you gots some 'splaining to do. Did you just fuck up? Fine. We ALL fuck up. Admit it and move on. A simple "I'm sorry" works fucking wonders.

If you don't want to be in "this silly war", then stop being defensive when people question your motives, write a full response, then take it down. That looks shady, and it just ADDS to the suspicion about your motives.

Ok, look. No one gives a fuck about YOU. There are MANY Laravel books of various quality from people with various "Laravel fame-ness". And you know what? They aren't getting shit from anyone! Because they don't act like hacky douche-bags.

Alright, I'm done with this. Feel free to add something constructive, or please fuck off.

Learning Laravel responds

View the point-by-point refuation of my silly little article.
Personally, I stopped giving a shit. As far as I'm concerned Learning Laravel is an AWESOME resource, and you should buy at least 5 copies of their book. Seriously, here's link. Go buy it! Holy shit, why haven't you bought it yet?!?! What? Do I need a big button for you click on you stupid piece of shit? Ok fine, here:


No, I'm not kidding. It's only $29.99. Get it. It's awesome. Seriously... I'm not joking right now. They convinced me they're legit. BUY.THE.FUCKING.BOOK.

Laravel Hijinx!

Unless you've living under a Lara-rock, you probably have heard about the new Laravel-book-on-the-block, Learning Laravel: The Easiest Way. The author is listed as Jack Vo, "a designer and web/mobile developer from Texas, United States."
There have already been a cry of 'shenanigans' from various Laravelers, including
A little whois sleuthing for the domain, shows the registrant/admin address as Vietnam. And searching for a Jack Vo in Texas doesn't come up with a whole lot, either. I was able to find a 'Nhan Vo Thanh' on slideshare showing him in 'Advertising / Marketing / PR'. Fishy.
Not to be detered, I found a Facebook page showing Grand Prairie, TX as home. Which led me to the Facebook page of Style Multimedia an 'international branding consultancy and marketing agency specializing in building brands'.
None of this could mean anything. Just a guy trying to cash-in by writing a book on a popular topic. And if that's the case, I wish him all the best. At worst, he's a total flim-flam artist... so buyer beware.

Update 1

Courtesy of Maks (Oops, Maks was supposed to anonymous. But I fixed it like a boss! Journalism!!), we find some wiki fighting with Mr. Vo wiki-demanding his book be at the top of the books list. No matter if you sort them alphabetically (by book name or author) or release date, there's no way his book should be at the top. Other than shenanigans.

Update 2

Also courtesy of anonymous (*wink*), we find the author not happy about having to wait to get his money from his dupes readers.

Update 3: The Holy Fuck-balls Edition

Via the fine patriot @koomai, we find some straight up plagiarism (and confusion between "Jack" and "Kelby"). Check this shit:
Then we get this little gem from whatever TwitterAudit is, estimating over 36,000 FAKE followers.

Update 4: The Holy Fucking-Shit-Balls Edition

God damn, what started out as a joke just to fuck with a hack has turned into some serious shit. Now, we get some not-at-all-funny plagiarism.